The Mommy thread!

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miss chaotic
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by miss chaotic » Fri May 22, 2009 1:43 pm

Yeah it is mainly for those that don't sleep at night but we used it for one that didn't sleep at all, but if your happy that he's getting enough sleep then that's all that matters and the fact that at 11 weeks he sleeps that long between feeds at night is fantastic i wish i had, had it that easy.. Just make sure that you are getting enough rest and that you look after yourself
sometimes i think there's no reason to get out of bed...then i feel wet and realise there is!!

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Rhaeniel
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Fri May 22, 2009 1:51 pm

miss chaotic wrote:Yeah it is mainly for those that don't sleep at night but we used it for one that didn't sleep at all, but if your happy that he's getting enough sleep then that's all that matters and the fact that at 11 weeks he sleeps that long between feeds at night is fantastic i wish i had, had it that easy.. Just make sure that you are getting enough rest and that you look after yourself
Well it hasn't been easy at all until now - he's been so colicky, we couldn't even put him down for 5 minutes rest for the first two months! I'm so glad his tummy's settled now and we can actually put him in his cot to sleep :)
The first two months, we had to take it in turns (me, hubby, my mum and the MiL) having Alex sleep lying on us all throughout the day and night, otherwise he'd wake up screaming in pain.. which is why he's now not comfortable going to sleep on his back :/
But yeah, it's taken a while for things to settle, it most certainly hasn't been easy! :roll:
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miss chaotic
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by miss chaotic » Fri May 22, 2009 1:59 pm

yeah i had the same problem with the colic it most certainly isn't fun!! but i'm glad he is doing better!
sometimes i think there's no reason to get out of bed...then i feel wet and realise there is!!

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trippytroll
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by trippytroll » Fri May 22, 2009 4:36 pm

hi him sophie
age um 31 or 32 (sorry im hopeless with ages specially mine) well i was born in 1977!
i am mommy to 3 rugrats
maisie-tallulah age 10
merlin-zachariah age 5
and my baby moses-huckleberry
i never go to any mother and baby groups etc beacuse of the way i look not beacuse im embarrassed but i feel people take one look at you and judge you instantly without getting to know you so i just avoid them and has never done my kids any damage not going to them
i do feel alone alot of the time as i only have two close close friends that i dont get to see much they have kids but dont dress like me even they they completely except me the way i am as ive been like this for about 20 odd years now lol
i wish i knew more people, people that are like me.
and i do worry cos two of mine are school age and i worry so much they ar egoing to get icked on becaus e of the way i look, but os far they havent, i get along with most of the parents down at my sons school i dont feel judged really by any of them, they see past my mad clothes and hair although beacuse im the only person down at the school who is this way (and one of the only people in my town like this too) walking through the school i can always feel the eyes staring at me
and most of my daughters friends are just curious and amazed and always want to know how ive done my hair where i got my shoes from etc but i know one day that she will get horrible comments about me especially as next year she will go to senior school
it can sometimes be hard being a mom like this but i am happy in myself and dont feel i should change just beacuse others dont like it, at the end of the day it doesnt affect me being a parent,
if anyone ever wnats to chat more pm email me mashedfluf2@live.co.uk or add me on facebook sophie carver im the one with the 'hair'
xxx
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Rhaeniel
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Sat May 23, 2009 10:53 am

Okay, so I've come up with a possible solution..
I'm going to try timing Alex's feeds with his naps.. so he has an hour nap on his own (and I can get some bits done around the house and whatnot) so that he learns to settle himself to sleep.. which he does pretty well now that he can find his thumb.. and then when he wakes up after an hour, I'll take him into my bed and feed him while we both have a nap. then when he wakes up again, I'll offer the other boob and let him feed back to sleep again.. and then when he wakes up after that he should (hopefully!) have had enough sleep and anough milk that he'll be happy and playful again :)
So.. let's see how this goes.
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TOXIKITTY
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by TOXIKITTY » Sat May 23, 2009 11:09 am

I found that with mother and baby groups there seems to be a strange "atmosphere". Been to a few different ones but never really thought much of them. Definitly don't think a kid misses out by not going to them, but I really worried for a time that I was being selfish for not taking him purely 'cause I don't feel comfortable. Soft play centers aren't very expensive and seem to be a lot more welcoming, only thing is it's different people every week so it's not really an ideal place for mum and baby to make any friends. My son is very social though, maybe mixing with a variety of children rather than the same ones all the time is beneficial?


Rheaniel, sounds like it could work. Routines are definitly a good thing to save your sanity, just don't let him try and "cute" his way out of doing what you want him to. You're in charge!!
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°«Belle»°
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by °«Belle»° » Sat May 23, 2009 11:51 am

How have I not noticed this thread before?!

I'm Belle *duh* and I'm 22 and have a 5 year old daughter called Kodi. I'm also expecting my second little girl in September. I won't make this a very long post as I'm currently being pestered to go and watch the Corpse Bride with Kodi! I was 16 when I had Kodi and although my family were very supportive and a few of my friends stuck by me I still stuggled with the idea of baby groups and whatnot. I did feel guilty that Kodi had never played with other kids her own age but as soon as she started nursery (3 years old) she was fine. No problems interacting with other children and definately no problems getting herself heard! She never shuts up now! She is now in her first year of full time school and loves it. She has told all the teachers and even the dinner ladies that she is going to be a big sister! Bless.. I am quite good friends with a few of the other mums at school and it's nice to know that they all have the same problems with parenting as I do/did. Age doesn't come into it at all. We all love our children to pieces but would also quite like to lock them in the shed for a minutes peace and quiet! :lol: Infact.. I asked Kodi yesterday if she had noticed that I'm a lot younger (and alternative!) than most of her friends mum's and she didn't even get what I was talking about! I was worried about how my image would be accpeted by other parents on the School run but I've only ever had positive comments. They love my dreads and even the head teacher asked about my style!

Ok.. so that post was longer than I thought...
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runningwithlola
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by runningwithlola » Sat May 23, 2009 8:05 pm

Even if you do pick him up and rock him back to sleep every time, he won't need that forever. My "baby" is 6 and I never let him cry, and he goes to sleep without me fine now. Don't stress over it too much. Going for a walk in a stroller is a great idea, and was one of my lifesavers at that age, even if we just walked around the block. Plenty to keep them occupied (to see), and if they get bored or overstimulated, they just go back to sleep. We would walk to the park and just the change of scenery was enough to keep things happy for both of us!
And yes, their naps are short. Your plan of switching boobs sounds like a good plan. Congratulations, that avatar pic is just PRECIOUS!!!

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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by TOXIKITTY » Sat May 23, 2009 10:26 pm

Ooh yes, the pram is a good one.. unless it's slinging it down, hehe. I had a simulated walk round the dining table once when it was raining and I was struggling. Compared to Rhaeniel's little'n, my son was like Damien though, hah.

Has settled down lots since that first tricky year thankfully. My biggest problems at the moment are potty training (feel like I'll be changing nappies till he's 30 at this rate) and hair cuts. He doesn't like people fiddling with his hair so I've ended up doing it myself in his sleep!! It grew so long he had little ringletts and a fringe he had to scoop out of his eyes every 10 seconds. Tried taking him to a salon once, but he came back looking like he'd lost a fight with a lawnmower cause he squirmed and yelled so much.

He wakes up with a nice new hair cut and all his finger and toe nails trimmed. Must be a bit spooky for him :lol:
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Tue May 26, 2009 11:14 am

:lol:
My friend has to do that with her 1-yr-old.. only she gets her hubby to hold him til he falls asleep and then cuts his hair, but this means she has to do it in halves cos he's got his head pressed against daddy's shoulder! Must be weird waking up with one side short! Lol



If I tried never to let Alex cry, I'd have to be superwoman. The only way he doesn't cry is if I never put him down(which I can't do cos he's so heavy and I have a rubbish back) never leave the house (apart from for a short walk in the buggy) and never change his nappy (he HATES having it done) ..oh, and bathtimes - he LOVES the bath and then screams blue murder when you take him out!
He's just a screamer :roll: I don't ever want to LEAVE him to cry tho.. that's different. If he's crying when I put him down to sleep then it's usually because he's overtired and the only way to calm him down is to rock him to sleep, otherwise he just won't stop screaming... I've tried things like patting and/or stroking his back to calm him, but the only thing that works is rocking him.. oh, or boob of course! :P

We went out yesterday to get stuff for our new dining room and Alex didn't have a good day :( he just couldn't settle in the carseat except when the car was moving, and we had to do so many short trips getting in and out and he got so overtired.. I wish it was safe to hold him whilst in the car, then I could've just "worn" him for the day and he'd have slept much more easily.. but car seats are a must, however much he hates being in one!
We visited the MiL in the evening and had a bath, but then when I tried to settle him with a feed before we left, he kept crying round my boob! I'm sure it's cos we were in the wrong house and it was getting close to bed time. He's so particular.. but then apparently I was too, when I was a baby. :roll:
It was okay when we got back tho - I fed him to sleep at about 9pm and he slept through to nearly 4am, and then he only woke up for a poo and a nappy change (cue screaming!) and then went straight back off to sleep until 6am!
He's been sleeping pretty well today too - had his feed and a play at 6, then back to bed.. poo and nappy change at 8ish, then back to sleep (altho he needed the radio static on then to get back to sleep) until 10am. Now he's had another feed, played until about 11.15 and gone back to sleep.. and he's still asleep now :)

I think what I was doing wrong before was not settling him well enough before putting him back down to sleep (after he woke up during a nap, usually for a poo!) cos if I settle him well enough, he can sleep for longer than an hour at a time.. I'm just a bit rubbish at knowing what to do when - I get so flustered and assume I must be doing everything wrong.. then I just give up trying things and put him to the breast because it's the only thing I know that works... but then he gets over-fed, which is probably why he's so big.. he's nearly 3 months now and he's already growing out of his 3-6 month clothes!

He seems to need more sleep than other babies his age, which is odd considering how wakeful he was in the early days! ..I've read that babies his age stay up for about 2 hours at a time, but he's usually tired after just one hour.

Sorry, I'm rambling again!






Wait a minute... it's taken your son til the age of six before he can go to sleep on his own?
Not that I'm criticising.. it's just that I'd go mental if I had to spend that long rocking Alex to sleep - besides the fact that my back can't cope even now!
How did you stand it for that long?
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by MrsEss » Tue May 26, 2009 11:32 am

i like the fact Alex has static to send him off to sleep - it's genius!! Seth used to listen to lullabies - it's evolved to stories on CD now, with the occasioanl music one....including requesting the odd one from us....ever heard of a 6 year old falling asleep to pantera?! queue Seth \m/

I have my scan in 2 weeks.............. :shock:
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Rhaeniel
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Tue May 26, 2009 11:34 am

Oooh, you'll have to post scan pics! ^_^

That's so cool :D Pantera FTW.. I used to nod off on the bus to school listening to Korn :D

*edit*
I just remembered - in the early days, Alex used to go to sleep to Prodigy :D
But now he can't sleep unless it's quite or there's static noise.. fussy boy! ^_^
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by MrsEss » Tue May 26, 2009 1:25 pm

Aye, when seth was younger he'd fall asleep to alice in chains or megadeth. Him & Richard have gone to the park, then they're on a duck feeding mission!
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Rhaeniel
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Tue May 26, 2009 2:07 pm

Cool :) I can't wait til Alex is old enough to do fun stuff like that..

He's crying.. I keep going in to pick him up but by the time I get there he's got his thumb in his mouth and his eyes shut. I don't know if he really wants to be picked up tbh, as when I do he just screams at me :(
I don't know what to do.
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by MrsEss » Tue May 26, 2009 4:06 pm

Bless him. he may just be bored....or wondering where you've gone. i think he may be trying to assert himself, babies can get really frustrated cos they're trying to communicate, but all they can do is wail & it eventually gets to you too, cos you want to help, but don't know what they want. vicious circle i suppose.
Hope he's alright.

You too ;)
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TOXIKITTY
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by TOXIKITTY » Tue May 26, 2009 6:23 pm

Rhaeniel wrote:My friend has to do that with her 1-yr-old.. only she gets her hubby to hold him til he falls asleep and then cuts his hair, but this means she has to do it in halves cos he's got his head pressed against daddy's shoulder! Must be weird waking up with one side short! Lol
I cut his hair in a very similar way.. only I try and get it all done at once because I don't like not being able to take him anywhere till I've had chance to even it out :lol:

Honestly.. don't let the crying get you too stressed.. I know when you hear him it probably makes you feel all tense and eager to do something to help, but leaving him a few minutes to see if he's going to settle himself won't do him any harm (just wait outside the door and give him chance to find his thumb again).. and he definitely won't think you're a terrible mummy =)

Maybe try choosing him a nice story and see if you can soothe him by reading if picking him up seems to make him cross. Even if he whines the whole way through at least he'll know you're there for him. Don't feel under too much preasure to be some kind of "supermum", he'll turn you into a bag of nerves if you let him, believe me! You're doing absolutely nothing wrong.. so don't worry so much :mrgreen:


Onto a little rant.. a lady at the park P'd me off today.. we were talking about how I'd ended up moving to the area. Told her my boyfriend got a job nearby.. to which she responded: "Oh, does HE have any children?".. gets my goat how people make the assumption that just because we're not married, he mustn't be Kaid's daddy. Nothing against people who're not with their kid's dads anymore.. I just HATE people making assumptions, grrr. It's happened a few times and it REALLY upsets my boyfriend too (luckily he wasn't there today). If I refer to him as "my partner" or something gender-neutral like that, I'm sure people think I'm a lesbian n'all.. when he isn't with me obviously, the huge beard is a slight give-away when he is :lol:

They (ie. the folks who work at the dictionary.. or whoever is generally in charge of words) need to think of something better that fits the bill, I feel!


:idea: Ooh, just been thinking.. it might be a nice idea to organise some kinda mums meet up in the future.. seeing as there are a few of us on here. We all seem to be quite dotted about though, so it could prove tricky/impossible. But it's a thought!! :D
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Wed May 27, 2009 6:53 am

I'd love to go to a mums meet! But as you say, it may prove tricky..
I started the Brighton Meet thread and I'm really not sure I can go - after how Alex was the other evening at his Grandma's, I'm not sure going off and staying in some random B&B for a night is such a good idea :/

I know what you mean with the assumptions.. it annoys me when people refer to Andy as my partner - I always correct them by saying "you mean my husband" :lol:
Kinda the opposite to your situation, but equally as irritating.. like I'm too young and weird-looking to have done something so "normal" and conservative, like getting married!
But when you think about it, people are only trying to err on the side of caution without openly asking "so, is he the daddy?" :roll:
Like when people ask me about my "partner", they're just assuming we're not married because to assume we were might be more offensive if we weren't... or something? I'm not sure that quite made sense :lol:
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by MrsEss » Wed May 27, 2009 8:06 am

I know what you mean Jo, people always refer to Richard as my Boyfriend.....We've been married 6 years, does the matching surnames not give that away?! They're even MORE surprised when they find out I have a son...."you don't look like a mother" is usually the comment, uh...what does a mother look like? Hmmmmmmm, maybe i need to get me some tweed, pearls, cadigan twin set & a perm?!
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Wed May 27, 2009 8:11 am

:lol: :lol: exactly!

Some bloke came to the door yesterday and asked if I owned the house.. I said no, so he said 'oh, well are your parents there?' :shock:
I was so shocked.. I said 'no, but you can speak to my husband!!'
:lol:
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Post by AwayWivzeFairies » Wed May 27, 2009 9:04 am

Hey!

I am a mum too :) Eliot turned 6 last April and I just don't know how the time has gone by so quickly!!!

Antenatal classes, Babies & Mothers groups, you name it, I did it and really never was bothered about the stuck up attitude of some of the mums there. In fact I like to think that my appearance is like wearing an "idiot proof jacket". The ones who cannot get passed the look are shallow and not really worth meeting. That is for the judge mental ones, not the ones who may be nice peeps but are kind of shy or easily intimidated in new surroundings of course. Being a new mum can be quite a challenge so if you add to that trying to mingle in a room full of strangers then it is quite a mission!

A couple of months ago I DJd at my son's school disco and guess what, I was in dreads (the ones in my avatar). Not one single kid made a nasty comment and parents are kind of used to me I guess. It is a small school with a nice mixture of nationalities and backgrounds so I guess Eliot is lucky that way, we are all aware and acceptant of difference. And one time, as I took my son to school, one of his little friend told him "Eliot, is your mum dressed for Halloween?". It was cute because she was 3 and at this age it is so genuine and non-offensively said so I smiled and told her that it was my favourite holiday of the year :) I am still surprised when parents sometimes ask me where I got my big boots or say how they like my hair or outfit. So I know that is easier said then done, but keep a positive attitude and fellow parents will warm up to you eventually. the ones who don't are definitely the idiots that you are lucky not to count as acquaintances or friends !!!!

It is good to see that there are few mums on here! Colourful, alternative and yummy mummies :i2: And why should we change!!! Two years ago I saw a little girl who was the cutest mini version of her mum at Whitby Goth Weekend. She was wearing the same pair of falls but made to her size!!!!
TOXIKITTY wrote::idea: Ooh, just been thinking.. it might be a nice idea to organise some kinda mums meet up in the future.. seeing as there are a few of us on here. We all seem to be quite dotted about though, so it could prove tricky/impossible. But it's a thought!! :D
GREAT IDEA!!!!! That would be great to take the kids out!!!

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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by TOXIKITTY » Wed May 27, 2009 11:17 am

Rhaeniel wrote:I'd love to go to a mums meet! But as you say, it may prove tricky..
I started the Brighton Meet thread and I'm really not sure I can go - after how Alex was the other evening at his Grandma's, I'm not sure going off and staying in some random B&B for a night is such a good idea :/
Madii's organising a Birmingham meet I've been thinking about attending (probably with son in tow).. notice it's nearer to you than Brighton.. there's another girl (Azaezl) going with her child so it could end up being some kind of unofficial mums meet, hehe. Here's the link: viewtopic.php?f=92&t=5131

If it's a nice day a picnic is planned =) ..just hope I can get!
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Rhaeniel » Wed May 27, 2009 1:11 pm

Ooh, Birmingham is much closer!
The last Birmingham meet was good too :)
As it's the weekend, I'll be able to get Andy to drive us over (there's no way I'd attempt that journey on the train with Alex just yet!)
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by blackmetal_mosher » Fri May 29, 2009 1:48 pm

Hey. A new forum!! I was on the old one, and just tried to go on it, and got re-directed here.

Anyway. I have a baby too. I'm 33 now, and I'm a single mum, living away from my family, though I do have a wonderful boyfriend.
The place where I live is very christian in nature, and has virtually no alternative people, and of those that are alternative are very very young (and can't accept my bug boots!!) I haven't been able to make many friends whilst living here, but I find a lot of old people talk to me?? A lot of people ask me what music i'm into and when I tell them black metal, their first response is to ask me what it is, and then they autmatically think that i'm going to sacrfice my child! But I will not, and ultimately cannot change who I am. People either accept you or they won't, but eventually when people realise that you aren't a bad person, then they will warm to you. Though, I'm a student nurse, and when I first started my placements I was treated like everyone else, then when I was in my own clothes I was treated like a stranger. How bad is that??
(stops to make tea...)
(...back)
But anyway I can totally relate to anyone here experiencing this kind of problem, as having a baby canmake you isolated anyway, and when you finally have the courage to go out there and meet people, you treated like leper, and results in a massive 'kick in the face'
sucks.
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by Zombie Strawberries » Sat May 30, 2009 2:48 pm

Rhaeniel, I still have difficulties letting my baby cry too.
I feel SO guilty. And she's almost 11 months old now!
My baby has a wierd sleeping patern and its all my fault I'm scared.
Thanks to my lover, she now knows that when she gets into her crib at 8 she'll stay there untill she sleeps. But then she wakes up at midnight for a bottle (stopped breastfeeding a month ago) and sometimes she'll get back to sleep in her crib no problem and other times she'll need to get in bed with us (and she's getting big!) but that way she does not cry.... It's really bad I do that because we get so better sleep when she's not with us. And she wakes up a 7 and she attacks us with hugs and kisses... It's really cute, but since she can't control much it results in head kicks >___< lol
It seems I can't find the courage to let her cry... And my bf is working so hard everyday and evening, 24/7, that I don't want him up in the middle of the night trying to get her to sleep. But It seems I just can't do it :S
And daily nap time (twice a day) are taken on me, while I browse internet or read. I've tried several times puting her in her crib but again... can't stand to let her cry. I feel loosy and I can't set my mind into doing what's right for her and for me....

And, as for a meeting, I'd so love it, but I live so far from all of you :(

anyway, I'm glad the thread I started gets living hehe.
And Mariann's got her 8th teeth out, after 2 months without any coming out. yay

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ScarletLady
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Re: The Mommy thread!

Post by ScarletLady » Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:51 pm

Bounty is great - the girls on there have been brilliant helping me through my recent pregnancy and miscarriage. You can ask them anything and they never make you feel stupid or anything like that...there are some great support groups ont here too :)
scarlet's taking over the asylum aka ladypanel

* Queen of Tangents*

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