The Mommy thread!

[Rhaeniel]

Bounty is great - the girls on there have been brilliant helping me through my recent pregnancy and miscarriage. You can ask them anything and they never make you feel stupid or anything like that...there are some great support groups ont here too

*hugs* I'm sorry Scarlet - it can't be much fun for you with all the baby talk going on.
How are you feeling, health-wise?

[Rhaeniel]

Rhaeniel, I still have difficulties letting my baby cry too.
I feel SO guilty. And she's almost 11 months old now!
My baby has a wierd sleeping patern and its all my fault I'm scared.
Thanks to my lover, she now knows that when she gets into her crib at 8 she'll stay there untill she sleeps. But then she wakes up at midnight for a bottle (stopped breastfeeding a month ago) and sometimes she'll get back to sleep in her crib no problem and other times she'll need to get in bed with us (and she's getting big!) but that way she does not cry.... It's really bad I do that because we get so better sleep when she's not with us. And she wakes up a 7 and she attacks us with hugs and kisses... It's really cute, but since she can't control much it results in head kicks >___< lol
It seems I can't find the courage to let her cry... And my bf is working so hard everyday and evening, 24/7, that I don't want him up in the middle of the night trying to get her to sleep. But It seems I just can't do it :S
And daily nap time (twice a day) are taken on me, while I browse internet or read. I've tried several times puting her in her crib but again... can't stand to let her cry. I feel loosy and I can't set my mind into doing what's right for her and for me....

I know what you mean - Andy has to be up for work but he's often helping me out at 4am with nappy changes.. bless him

She sounds so cute with the kisses at 7am ^_^ I want that with Alex but Andy wants him back in his own bed after his 4am feed! He's right though - we don't want to get him into the habit of it, otherwise we'll never be able to get him out of our bed!

I've started letting Alex take some of his naps on me now - he's napping for such a short amount of time in the day now that there's not much point in putting him in his bed any more.. I just let him fall asleep at the breast and then sit and crochet over his head!

He's starting to get so cute now with all the cooing and smiling (all he did before was scream!) he's even starting to charm his daddy now ^_^

[TOXIKITTY]

Bounty is great - the girls on there have been brilliant helping me through my recent pregnancy and miscarriage. You can ask them anything and they never make you feel stupid or anything like that...there are some great support groups ont here too

Awww, I'm ever so sorry. Miscarriage is such a crappy thing to have happen to you.. my aunt was trying to get pregnant for about 10 years, managed to concieve but then miscarried a few months in, was really heartbreaking. Within a year she got pregnant again with a little girl though.. who's now 13 and driving everyone nuts with boy-talk and what not, heh.

Know there's nothing to be said that'll make things any better, but I think you're ever so brave.. it brought a tear to my eye when I read what happened.. *hugs*

Glad you've found a good support group, try n keep smiling and take care of yourself

[Zombie Strawberries]

I'm so sorry for you, ScarletLady... (I'm bad with words for those things...)

we don't want to get him into the habit of it, otherwise we'll never be able to get him out of our bed!

You're so right lol.
Well, I manage to get her to sleep tonight. All my own. took 5 min lol. She didn't even cried!

So now I can put the stripper in my hair yay!

[ScarletLady]

thanks for the kind words people

@Rhae - I'm doing ok thanks hon - just trying to kick this bloody cold before we start TTC. Want to be as healthy as poss! Dan's given up smoking which is BRILLIANT!

And I don't mind at all you ladies talking about all things baby - it's not your fault what happened to me - I'd hate to think you had to watch what you say because of me. Just because i went through a miscarriage doesn't change how happy I am for you all

[Rhaeniel]

*hug*
You're a lovely lady, Scarlet
..and nice one, Dan!



Well done, ZS ^_^
We had a bit of a nightmare with Alex last night - he went to sleep at half six cos he was so tired (busy day meeting other mums!) and then we tried to give him a 'sleepy feed' at 10pm (basically only rousing him enough to get him latched on to feed so that he didn't wake fully.. so that he'd sleep for longer through the night before getting hungry) but it all went wrong! >.<
He was all windy and then pukey and every time we tried to put him down he'd scream and then puke again.. and then he pooped as well
All that and then he STILL woke up at 2.30am for another feed ..and because he pooped again!
So tonight we're not trying that - he's already been pukey because he fell asleep at the breast at about 7pm and didn't get his wind up,so by half seven he was screaming and puking ..so now he's back asleep in bed and we're not going to wake him at all, we'll just see how long he goes before needing another feed.. he might still go til 2/3am-ish anyway.
So yeah.. I'm off to bed now.
Night all! ^_^
xx

[TOXIKITTY]

If only these little ones knew what they unwittingly put their parents through, heh.

This is Kaiden.. mucking about in his jammies the other morning..

I don't know WHAT to do with his blummin hair, I can't keep up with the stuff

[runningwithlola]

I should have worded that better I guess, LOL! I meant that, as a baby I never let him cry, I always picked him up or nursed him back to sleep or whatever, and now he's 6 and he doesn't need me to help him get to sleep, even thought I never let him cry! LOL!

I always cut their hair/nails/whatever when they were asleep too. I tried to give them (6 and 2.5 years) haircuts two days ago and only got the back before they got too wiggly to continue. oops! I'm just telling everyone we're going for a Beatles' look. But they both want to grow it long anyway, they say.

[ScarletLady]

@TOXIKITTY - He's gorgeous

I'm so bloody broody at the moment...I only stopped bleeding from the D&C about a week ago buy I'm desperate to start TTC again...I was hesitant when it first happened but it's definitely what I want....Me n Dan have talked about it a lot and have decided it's the right thing to do...I'm going to TRY and relax about it...I was so millitant last time making sure I did everything right and it still went wrong so I might as well chill...

We're in the process of sorting out acceess to dan's daughter at the moment, He's been dealing with social services and they've been great. We seems to completely have them on side and they've even suggested Dan goes for access or joint custody, which they would support us in if it went to court. He's been in such a good mood since giving up smoking (he smoked weed as well) and it's given him the motivation to sort all this out.

Oops sorry if I went WAY OT then...it is kiddy related tho...I'm proud to be a step mum

@Rhae - hope Alex is feeling better today hon *hugs*

[MrsEss]

I think.....i feel....movements!!!

[Rhaeniel]

OMG Toxikitty, he's so cute!! and his hair's lovely as it is ^_^

runningwithlola - I see! Well I must admit I was so tired to begin with that I physically couldn't nurse him every time he cried (I wouldn't ever have slept) so my mum and hubby tried everything else they could to comfort him to allow me some sleep in between feeds (he'd cry as soon as he'd had his feed, so we knew it was for comfort and not for food.. I kept doubting my milk supply but everytime I expressed there was plenty, unless he'd had it and then it was all gone, so he was clearly getting enough!) so yeah, there were a hellova lot of tears.. he was colicky too, and had reflux.. he'd feed to get rid of the horrible feelings in his tummy but it only made it worse cos then he'd just puke it all back up.. and he put on too much weight due to overfeeding...
I think if you've got a baby who cries that much, "letting" them cry doesn't even come into it.. you have to eat, wash, dress yourself.. can't really do that with a baby attached to your boob!


Scarlet - sorry, what's D&C?

DSM - omg, already??! How is that possible?

[ScarletLady]

another name for ERPC - evacuation of retained products of conception (god that sounds really horrible) It's what I had done at hospital

[MrsEss]

DSM - omg, already??! How is that possible?

subsequent babies show quicker - bump wise & you can feel them move earlier. when i was having seth i was about 16-18 weeks (i think) when i felt him move.

it all depends on your body - frame, size, muscles etc

[Zombie Strawberries]

Yeah I felt Mariann at about 14 weeks O_O
(I was tiny!)


I had such a hard time last night. From 1 to 6½ she cried in her crib, until I gave up (and daddy went sleeping on the couch...)
She's SO over tired.
Now she's crying in her crib, I try to get her to nap a little. it's about noon here and she has woke up at 8h or so. She's been there for an ½h of hour now. She did not took any naps yesterday and she felt asleep at 9h½pm.
I'm willing to let her cry but it doesnt seems to work out that well. :S

TOXIKITTY, your little boy is so cute!!

Rhaeniel, I know what you're saying... Mariann was fed every 2 hour or so until about 7 months old. She finally gave up the boobs when she realised she could bite the rubber nipple all she wants...


...Eh, I want to gave her her pacifier and she vomited all over the place.... so I pick her up and now she's falling asleep on me. She won. again.
I really don't like her to puke :S

Scarletlady, I wish you the best of luck! both for the baby try and the stepdaughter ^^ and congrats to Dan, it's not every one able to do it!

[Rhaeniel]

Scarlet - that does sound pretty horrible!

I can't remember exactly when I first felt Alex move cos I wasn't 100% sure whether it was him or just muscle spasms! .. but it wasn't very early at all - I remember reading in the books that I ought to be feeing him by now and I wasn't :/ made me paranoid! Once he got going, though.. ouch!

That sounds too long to let a baby cry, ZS - are you there in the room with her while she's crying?
I think the 'controlled crying' method is to leave them alone for 5 mins, then go in to calm them.. then leave them for 10 mins, and gradually leave it longer each time before you go in.. and you're meant to try to calm them but don't pick them up!
Thing is, the longer you leave it and then eventually give in, the longer she knows she has to cry before you'll pick her up and let her fall asleep on you.. so she'll keep crying for longer and longer periods each time because she knows you'll eventually give in and pick her up!
Also, being in the room with her will only make her angrier that you're not picking her up.. that's why they say to leave the room.

Also, the puking is dangerous ground.. if you get upset and pick her up as soon as she pukes, she'll think that's the only way to get you to pick her up.. so she may learn to do it on purpose! I always make sure I treat it very light-heartedly when Alex pukes.. I just smile and say 'oh dear' and clear it up without snatching him up into my arms - otherwise, if I act worried and scared when he pukes, then he'll get really upset and scared about it cos he'll learn that it's a scary, worrying thing (if mummy's scared of it, then it must be bad!) ..or he'll learn to do it on purpose to get me to pick him up!

[TOXIKITTY]

I can't remember exactly when I first felt Alex move cos I wasn't 100% sure whether it was him or just muscle spasms! .. but it wasn't very early at all - I remember reading in the books that I ought to be feeing him by now and I wasn't :/ made me paranoid! Once he got going, though.. ouch!

Took me a couple of weeks to realise it wasn't wind. Feels kinda bubbley to start with so I thought I was just really REALLY gassy

But yeah.. by the end I thought he was gonna break a rib evertime he booted me. It's cool when it gets to the stage you can see your whole stomach moving everytime they shuffle about, hehe.

[MrsEss]

I don't feel it very often. i knew for definate with seth on xmas day - i think i was about 16 weeks - i'd have to check the diary i wrote whislt i was having him....

oooh - picture:

[Zombie Strawberries]

he's so cute! dsm

Rhaeniel, that's what I did. I didn't let her cry for an hour without going!!!

and it was the first time she puked and there was all ovr the crib. I just couldn't let her there, you know.

Last 2 days were ok. At least! So we feel better today

And I finally kick my butt and start doing some abdos! about 8 pounds to go lol .I'm at125 and want to get to my before-baby weigh by my bday - wich is 3 days after my little lady.


For all those having oldre children, what di the 1st year bday party looked-like, If you had any?

[~Azaezl~]

I wasn't bothered about Kyoko having a first birthday party, i didn't see the point whilst she was so young but my mum insisted. My mum bought a mini bouncy castle, we had about 25 adults(family & friends) and 8 kids ranging from 1year - 6years old, the usual party food, some music and it was all in my mum's small garden(photo taken before everyone turned up, doesn't she look happy and not at all tired and grumpy );



Awww I love looking at her baby pics, makes me all broody, just look at her now;



She's 4 on the 18th and this year we are having a MEGA party, she went to a friend's party and loved it so much we decided to have one for her, it started out small but now it's very big.

So far we have 34 children attending luckily it's at the pre-school hall/garden so it's a familiar environment. We're having a big princess bouncy castle, a face painter / balloon modeller, the usual party games of pass the parcel, musical chairs, we're having a pinata too. The theme is princess' for girls, pirates for boys so we have all the tabelware,balloons etc to match. The party bags are going to have themed gifts as well as handmade bracelets and personalised cookie bags(which is just some cheap cookies thrown in a cellophane bags with ribbon around and a handmade nametag / thank you sticker). So far it's cost us about £400, it sounds alot but my best friend is sharing the party as her little boy is 3 the following week plus all our families are putting money towards it rather then getting her a present(she has far too many toys and her friends will be buying her a small gift each). The way I see it is the first birthday is special but it's not worth having a big bash because your little one won't have a clue what's going on wheras when they are older they will really enjoy it.

[TOXIKITTY]

Awww, everyone has such cute kids XD

I didn't bother with a party as such for mine.. had pooh-bear themed decorations and stuff.. but we invited some family members for a day out at the aquarium then went home for dinner and cake. It's hard planning things for a baby though 'cause it's hit or miss whether you'll catch them on a grumpy day.. but this was all quite relaxed and it was a success!! (despite weeks of fretting, hehe)

That sounds like a fantastic party Azaezl! I wish I were going

[~Azaezl~]

I totally agree Toxikitty, Kyoko was so tired and grumpy at her 1st bday party and when everyone started singing happy birthday she started crying, I just think it was all too much for her, too many faces, too much noise, too much cake

On her other birthdays we just went on a day out to the farm / theme park, then the following days we'd go to toys r us to spend a little birthday money and have lunch at macdonalds(thankfully she's pretty much grown out of macdonalds and would rather real food from a restaurant / garden centre).

This year her birthday is on a Thursday so she's in pre-school in the morning, which she loves and they'll sing happy birthday to her there(with a pretend cake). Whilst she's there we are going to setup her big birthday presents in the garden, a playhouse and a sandpit so she has a nice surprise when she gets home. Then her grandparents from my husband's side will come around late afternoon to give her some small presents(a pink hetty hoover and my little pony set) and have some cake etc. The following day is school again but then we might take her out somewhere, probably the local garden centre with her great uncle. Then it's her party on the sunday and the following friday is my mate's little boy's birthday so we'll go around there for some cake and to give presents then that saturday we're all off to a theme park to celebrate the kids birthdays(again ). Oh and she has a princess / pirate party at her new primary school the wednesday following her birthday. She's also really excited because my mum & neice are visting for her party so she'll have her cousin sleeping over too.....she has a very hectic few weeks coming up!

[plum poison]

Bounty is great - the girls on there have been brilliant helping me through my recent pregnancy and miscarriage. You can ask them anything and they never make you feel stupid or anything like that...there are some great support groups ont here too

oh no honey. I'm so sorry...*hugs*... are you ok?

[plum poison]

another name for ERPC - evacuation of retained products of conception (god that sounds really horrible) It's what I had done at hospital

A little OT but...
thats probably because ERCP generally means Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangio-pancreatography. which is looking at the gall bladder and bile duct and pancreas. probably better to not get the two confused...lol

[Zombie Strawberries]

Azaezel, your little one looks just like you! :O

Mariann is turning 11months old tomorrow, yay!!
My bf started invinting is family already for the dinner we're stting for her 1st bday. It'll be really familial but he has so many uncles...

I actually was able to get her to sleep in a parc at my mom's this evening. I'm proud of me

[Rhaeniel]

he's so cute! dsm

Rhaeniel, that's what I did. I didn't let her cry for an hour without going!!!

and it was the first time she puked and there was all ovr the crib. I just couldn't let her there, you know.

Last 2 days were ok. At least! So we feel better today

And I finally kick my butt and start doing some abdos! about 8 pounds to go lol .I'm at125 and want to get to my before-baby weigh by my bday - wich is 3 days after my little lady.


For all those having oldre children, what di the 1st year bday party looked-like, If you had any?

Ah, I see! Yeah lying in your own sick can't be very nice




That's a brilliant photo, DSM he's so cute!


We're not planning to do anything big for Alex's first - don't really see the point. We went to a friend's party for her 1-yr-old and it just seemed pointless with all the kids not knowing what was going on and the masses of toys - I mean, if every baby in that group has a big first birthday like that and every parent has to buy big presents for each child, you're spending a vast amount of money on far too many toys for any child to really enjoy!
If I was part of a mum & baby group like that, with birthdays all at the same sorta time, I'd rather we all chip in and buy one big, lovely present for each child.. or something like that. And maybe one big party but mainly for the adults, as babies are too young to really appreciate that sort of thing at that age.

Annnnyway - while we're doing photos...



Smiler! ^_^