The Funny Things Thread!

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neonpixie
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The Funny Things Thread!

Post by neonpixie » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:00 pm

I thought it'd be good to have somewhere to share any funny images, videos and stories that we find on the net! Another forum I use to use had this and it was great for cheering people up.

Please keep them clean- not racist, sexist or homophobic and not to gross please :D

here's some to get the ball rolling... (I hope LOL)

Image
(as posted in the Posts that don't deserve their own thread)

Image
Oscail mo shúile, Nìos mò, Èist è sin, Ar an tsáile snámha, Fol lol the doh fol the day...

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ScarletLady
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by ScarletLady » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:21 pm

Image

Image
Last edited by ScarletLady on Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
scarlet's taking over the asylum aka ladypanel

* Queen of Tangents*

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iamtheparty
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by iamtheparty » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:23 pm

Image

Image
Birthdays was the worst days, now we sip champagne when we thirstay.....

http://www.facebook.com/forgottennegatives

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Recovery_One
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by Recovery_One » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:35 pm

Image

Image
Last edited by Recovery_One on Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shelia come back to me! I made you a Muffin!
Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!
You can't die I'm bored!
Hey Grif com'ere let me paint a bulls eye on your back... and by bulls eye I ofcourse mean camoflage.

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NozomiStar
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by NozomiStar » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:36 pm

ewwww dont like the hamster one. thats soo wrong.....but yet so funny.
Nomzomi queen of the Noms

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Sybafairy
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by Sybafairy » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:48 pm

LMAO at catapult!!!!!!!
Blue Army ----- Cavalry Commander and General Nommer of biscuits

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:16 pm

ok, so i have hundreds of funny emails!! (seriously...100's)

here's 1:

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
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ScarletLady
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by ScarletLady » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:17 pm

:lol:
scarlet's taking over the asylum aka ladypanel

* Queen of Tangents*

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:18 pm

another:

> We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the
> Rules from the male side. Here are our rules:-
>
> Please note.... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
> change that.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it

> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about
> you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the
tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it
that
> way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do
not
> work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say
> it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
> 1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
>
> 1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

> We have no idea what Mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. if we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like
> nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you
> don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like
> camping.
>
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
Decimation Fashion
Tumblr
Formerly known as DreadstarMonstar

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NozomiStar
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by NozomiStar » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:19 pm

ahahaha i love it. its sooo true.
Nomzomi queen of the Noms

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:24 pm

i have more.....maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany more!!! :lol:

am converting some images atm
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
Decimation Fashion
Tumblr
Formerly known as DreadstarMonstar

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:30 pm

Image

Image

Image
i love this one!!

Image

i have more pics - but think some may be too offensive for the forum - swearing, etc.

will keep looking :)
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
Decimation Fashion
Tumblr
Formerly known as DreadstarMonstar

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:54 pm

The Hormone Guide

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS

SAFER

SAFEST

ULTRA SAFE

What's for
dinner?

Can I help you
with dinner?

Where would you like
to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you
wearing that?

Wow, you sure
look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

What are you
so worked up about?

Could we be
overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be
eating that?

You know, there are
a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece
of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you
DO all day?

I hope you didn't
over-do it today.

I've always loved you
in that robe!

Here, have some wine.

:lol:
Last edited by MrsEss on Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
Decimation Fashion
Tumblr
Formerly known as DreadstarMonstar

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MrsEss
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by MrsEss » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:59 pm

HANGOVER RATINGS


* 1 STAR HANGOVER *

- No pain. no real feeling of illness.
- You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic
cones in there with you.
- You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up
from all those vodka and Red Bulls.
- However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched
as the Sahara.
- Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.

** 2 STAR HANGOVER **

- No pain, but something is definitely amiss.
- You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity
of a stapler.
- The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your
rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.
- Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing
your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some
light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk
e-mails.

*** 3 STAR HANGOVER ***

- Slight headache.
- Stomach feels crap.
- You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.
- Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave
reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends
after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.
- Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a kebab
and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
- You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 6 chicken nuggets and
a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.

**** 4 STAR HANGOVER ****

- You have lost the will to live.
- Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you
might spew.
- Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a
lecture for reeking of booze.
- You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the
fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial
spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the
dodgems.
- Your teeth have their own individual sweaters.
- Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look
like a reject from a second-grade class circus 1976.
- You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a
cheeseburger and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could
go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
- You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.

***** 5 STAR HANGOVER *****

- You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the employee who sits next to you.
- Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
- You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from
brushing your teeth.
- Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is
suffocating you.
- You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your
body.
- Death seems pretty good right now.
- Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that
your dog just died because you look so pathetic.
- You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can
manage to do is breathe ..... very gently.

****** 6 STAR HANGOVER ******

- You arrive home and climb into bed.
- Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the
taxi.
- You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you
up.
- You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying
relentlessly around the room.
- No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.
- You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under
full sail.
- After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking
off all the pictures, you find the toilet.
- If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you
spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your
impersonation of walrus mating calls.
- You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in
the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the
walrus noises, spitting, and farting.
- Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.
- Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts.
- Help now turns intoabuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving
you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous
eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't
relent.
- You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out
and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last
occasion.
- It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the
day as you try to climb into bed.
- She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of
dried vomit in your hair.
- You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for
them driving you to the hospital.
- Work is simply not an option.
- The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you
sick again, like moving.
- You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or
three hours at least you might even succeed.
*~*~*~*~*Saaaaaaspie-doo-be-doo-bedooooo is awwwwweeesoooooome*~*~*~*~*-ScarletLady

Socially awkward since 1982
Decimation Fashion
Tumblr
Formerly known as DreadstarMonstar


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CherryLex
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by CherryLex » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:33 pm

Image
Image
Image
Image
Invader blood marches through my veins like radio active rubber pants!
THE PANTS COMMAND ME!!!
Do not ignore my veins!

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ScarletLady
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by ScarletLady » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:37 pm

lmao @ patrick stewart :lol:
scarlet's taking over the asylum aka ladypanel

* Queen of Tangents*

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neonpixie
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by neonpixie » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:40 pm

those are great!

Image
Oscail mo shúile, Nìos mò, Èist è sin, Ar an tsáile snámha, Fol lol the doh fol the day...

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fustmuffin
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by fustmuffin » Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:06 pm

this picture makes me laugh everytime I see it!!
Image
The look on the baby's face cracks me up!!!

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RonicaDemonica
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by RonicaDemonica » Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:45 pm

Miss Liberty wrote:Image
Oh I laughed so hard at that poor little birdie's expense...I am a terrible person. :lol:

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iamtheparty
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by iamtheparty » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:37 pm

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=byj_y0E0ktQ

Oh my God I just saw this on TV and it's so so funny. That couple are LEGENDS.
Birthdays was the worst days, now we sip champagne when we thirstay.....

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Madii
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by Madii » Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:27 am

Image

Possibly the best thing xkcd has ever done.
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

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bingeandpurge
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by bingeandpurge » Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:25 am

Oh lord, my 'lulz' folder is soooo ready for this thread.
Here's about 1% of said folder, most featuring cats:

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image
There are no rules anywhere. The Goddess prevails.
Hail Eris!

http://bingeandpurge.deviantart.com

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co0kie_x
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by co0kie_x » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:07 pm

Ohnoes prepair for epic lulz ^_^
Image
Image
Image
Image
(^^person fav.. always makes me laugh)
Image
Image

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BossyLibraryLady
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Re: The Funny Things Thread!

Post by BossyLibraryLady » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:30 pm

Image

Image

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