The Funny Things Thread!

[fustmuffin]

oh how I miss my baby bumps!!!!

[rivetlicker_]

I coined up a few terms today and submitted them to urban dictionary!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... =fauxcoder

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... knowledgey

Wheeeeeeeee!

[~*Zombie Candycane~*]

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.



2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice. !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,

Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.


Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It's Called
... THERAPY

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.. Come morning, the weather had cleared,and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jac k got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago ?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes !," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... you know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!

[MrsEss]

i've jsut forwarded that to the people i work with ZC - it's awesome

[~*Zombie Candycane~*]

i've jsut forwarded that to the people i work with ZC - it's awesome

LMFAO i got them from my mum lol.. shes a bugger for sending me all this kinda stuff while im at work.

[Rhaeniel]

I'm going to print that out as a list of instructions for my hubby to take to work - the coffee one is ace I'd love to see that!

I'd also love to see him skipping down the halls.. especially as this week he's been going to work dressed head-to-toe in army surplus gear! There are real soldiers sometimes on site where he works, so it'd be sooooooooo much funnier if they were around..

[~*Zombie Candycane~*]

LMFAO!! ive been thinking about doing some of them myself lol.. Ive gotta try them all at least once

[Rhaeniel]

http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/Article ... ocid=today

This just made me giggle.. go lady!
I get so fed up with appliances that need constant repairing - it's about time someone did something drastic just to get what they pay for!

[Rhaeniel]

LMFAO!! ive been thinking about doing some of them myself lol.. Ive gotta try them all at least once

The condom one would be particularly good

[~*Zombie Candycane~*]

LMFAO!! ive been thinking about doing some of them myself lol.. Ive gotta try them all at least once

The condom one would be particularly good

Darn right.. even better if im dragging my boyfriend behind me at the time.

[Rhaeniel]

classic!




Ooh, I just remembered I saw this the other day and it's so good
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-lktd1OBH ... re=related
I don't think I posted the link before - sorry if I did.. my brain's not in gear today.

Oh, a warning - there's some swearing in it.

[Bomber]

^ the sheer randomness of that makes me giggle, I mean, it's Bon Jovi, on a plane, with a hammer?!

[NozomiStar]

Tim Minchin is legend and somewhat strangely attractive. i think its the eyes

[neonpixie]

Tim Minchin is legend and somewhat strangely attractive. i think its the eyes

I concur!
His songs crack me up too

[Rhaeniel]

Tim Minchin is legend and somewhat strangely attractive. i think its the eyes

I concur!
His songs crack me up too

I also concur!!
His eyes are amazing.. and his hair I want his hair.




Bon Jovi + plane + hammer = WTF?!

[NozomiStar]

his hair is pretty cool.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGzhutyOM ... re=related omg funny

again some bad language

[ClaireCalavera]

Still loving this thread! Thought I would post something else that made me giggle:

http://thehatzifamily.com/Baby%20Manual.jpg

Dos and Don'ts Baby Manual...

[NozomiStar]

haha Claire thats cool. tbh i think the "dont" would be me.

[Rhaeniel]

Making baby smile.. that cracked me up!
Oh wow, some of those are REALLY bad...



I love that Tim Minchin one - "If you love me unconditionally, would you let me video you while you wee?"

[neonpixie]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

You need a certain type of humour to appreciate this. (E.g. a 12 year old boy's brain.)

Sequel: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk&NR=1

OHH I looove these! my mates and I found them a while ago and must have watched them a million itmes! we randomly quote it in conversation now... bit sad really! we quote technoviking Taking the hobbits to Isengard and Charlie the Unicorn too

speaking of charlie, he's not been posted yet I think;

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CsGYh8Aac ... re=channel

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCSXr6qnv4

[fustmuffin]

Still loving this thread! Thought I would post something else that made me giggle:

http://thehatzifamily.com/Baby%20Manual.jpg

Dos and Don'ts Baby Manual...

I bought this in book form for a friend who had her first baby a week after I had my daughter.
It went down very well

[rivetlicker_]

Everyone needs Vince! (Oh man, this has had myself and many friends in stitches for the last few days!)

Slap Chop!

ShamWOW!

VINCE VINCE VINCE!

Slap Nuts!

SLAP CHOP REMIX!

Oh man xD

[NozomiStar]

lol love my nuts. love it.

[rivetlicker_]

The best line from it is "Vince doesn't s*** in the washing machine"!

[bingeandpurge]

Teehee.
While I was just watching all those videos, the ShamWow commercial came on!
"You know the Germans make good stuff..."